I'm Hokkien. 3/4 Hokkien, at any rate. I speak less than 10 words of Hokkien, none of which should be repeated in polite company. That having been said, I'm convinced that Hokkien is the ugliest language known to man. Maybe not so much projectile-vomit-inducing ugly as much as a kind of cute-ugly. Like a morbidly obese pug.
My dad tries to get me to get in touch with my roots and learn to appreciate Hokkien. I'm not convinced I want to: