Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Screw you, Forrest Gump!

Ah done got me a box o' chawk'lits an' ah knew EZZACK'LY wut ah wuz goan'a git:

In fact, come to think of it, isn't it generally required by law that a label is present stating in no uncertain terms what is inside the box? So, life is like a box of chocolates... How, exactly? Sweet and bitter? Gone too soon? Brown and sticky?

Don't get me wrong, I liked the movie, and Bubba Gump Shrimp is actually kinda nice as a restaurant*, but "box of chocolates" is really one of the WORST metaphors for life I have ever come across. You want a deep, meaningful metaphor for life? How about:

Life is like being a pubic hair on a toilet seat... sooner or later you get pissed off.

We're all familiar with life as a container, a game, a journey, a war, an epic struggle , a story, a prison but a box of chocolates? If it was a case of "you never know whut yer goan'a git", life might as well be a box with a cat, whose life is dependent on the state of a specific sub-atomic particle. Or a glove compartment. NO-ONE knows what in blazes they've put in their glove compartments**. Or maybe that USB thumb drive you "borrowed" from the cubicle next to yours...

But life is NOT like a box of cocoa mass, raw cane sugar, whole milk powder, cocoa butter, soya lecithin, vanilla extract and what-have0you. And so I say: Screw you, Forrest Gump. Screw you and your box of chocolates...

* But I might be biased here, coz the waitress at the one I went to was really hawt.

** And so I placed a pair of gloves in mine. Because my glove compartment WILL have gloves in it, goddammit...

1 comment:

Rambling Alcoholic said...

Gloves? In hot humid Malaysia? You've picked up some tips watching CSI haven't u?